Movie Spoilers

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Milo (1998)

Milo Jeeder (Asher Metchik) is a creepy little boy in a yellow slicker, who rides a bike with a bell and playing cards stuck in the spokes. He takes four schoolgirls — Claire, Abby, Ruth, and Marian — to his house, which doubles as his father’s gynecological practice, to show them the perserved remains of fetuses (or maybe full-term but deformed babies) in jars. In exchange, he gets to play doctor with one of the little girls — and when he finds “something wrong,” he stabs her to death with a scalpel. Then he emerges from the exam room to stab another— oops, wait, this was just a dream-flashback. Claire Mullins (Jennifer Jostyn), all grown up, wakes with a fright, and goes to her job as a schoolteacher.

At the end of the day, Claire gets an invitation to Ruth’s wedding, accompanied by a plane ticket.

Back in her hometown for the wedding, she’s met by Abby (Maya McLaughlin) and Marian (Paula Cale), who tell her that Ruth died the night before in a car wreck. Later, while reminiscing over old times, the two persuade Claire to apply for Ruth’s newly-vacated job (she was a teacher, too) at the very school the girls attended. Claire gets the job.

One day, during class, she sees Milo outside. He still looks ten years old. At recess, Claire sees him in the same spot, across the playground; Kelso, the school janitor (Antonio Fargas), standing next to her, doesn’t see him.

Back in class, the kids are passing around a photo stinky little Evan (Jordan Blake Warkol) says he found outside. Claire takes it away; it’s a photo of herself as a child. On the back is written “Milo + Claire = Love”.

Driving away from school, she nearly hits — you guessed it — Milo, on his bike. Kelso walks up to her car window; she asks him if Ruth’s accident wasn’t far from this spot. He says yes, about half a block away — and right about this time of day, as Ruth was leaving school.

Claire spots Milo again, and tries to follow him, but nearly hits a little girl in the street. When she sees him again, she goes to Abby’s and tells her what’s been going on. Of course, Abby tries to convince Claire that she’s imagining things, and tells her to bury the memory of Milo. As for the photo with the note, Abby passes it off as Claire’s students giving their new teacher a hard time — it’s not, Abby says, like people in this town don’t know what happened to Mae (another childhood friend Claire has all but forgotten), “or what happened to us.”

After Claire leaves, Abby sits up late, watching a home movie of a birthday party showing Milo arriving, and— whoops! alongs comes Milo in real life, and stabs Abby to death.

Claire learns that Abby is missing when a cop, Lt. Parker (Richard Portnow), arrives to ask a few questions — Claire may have been the last person to see Abby.

The next day, Claire tells Marian with no uncertainty that Milo killed Abby. Of course, Marian thinks Claire is off her rocker. She also tells Claire to keep this Milo business quiet.

That day, what appears to be Milo nearly runs down Claire with his bike. Turns out it’s stinky little Evan, who claims the yellow slicker he’s wearing is his own. Inside the classroom, Claire is scared by a frog somebody planted, and angry at an indelible stick-figure drawing of herself, with boobies, on the blackboard.

Meanwhile, in the hallway, stinky little Evan speaks to someone unseen, who tosses him some sort of cigar-shaped object.

At recess, Claire sticks close to Kelso for protection. This time, they both hear a bicycle bell, but can’t figure out where it’s coming from.

After recess, and with the kids inside, Claire is locked out of the classroom — and Milo appears and attacks her. Claire passes out. Marian picks her up at school. On the drive home, Marian suggests Claire see a shrink.

Claire convinces Marian to drive to the Jeeder house, where they just walk right in and start snooping around. Claire is caught rummaging through in a file cabinet by Dr. Jeeder (Vincent Schiavelli). Claire tells him she’s seen Milo. That’s impossible, says Jeeder; everyone knows Milo drowned years ago; his body was found five weeks after “what happened to that little girl.”

On the way home, Marian nearly hits (yep!) Milo, on his bike. Marian follows the yellow-slickered little creep, who suddenly stops in the middle of the road. Marian stops the car, gets out, and yells at him. Milo turns around, and, in his freaky-deaky voice, whining, “I thought we were friends, I thought we were friends…” charges Marian on his bike, and slashes at her (with a scalpel, probably). One of the car’s windows somehow breaks, and Claire dives for cover; when she gets up to look for Marian, all she finds is a river of blood leading into the woods. Next we see of Marian, she’s being dragged away by Milo.

Claire ends up at the police department. Parker shows Claire a picture of Milo’s body to prove he’s dead. Parker doesn’t think she’s crazy — he thinks she knows more about the disappearances of Abby and Marian than she’s telling. He tells her not to leave town.

Next, Claire turns to Kelso with her Milo story. Kelso says he wants to believe her, but doesn’t know what to think.

When Claire reaches her classroom, she finds the kids all bruised up — their bus jumped a curb on the way to school. Claire takes a moment to tell stinky little Evan: “Don’t talk to him anymore.”

Claire sees Dr. Jeeder again, and pleads with him to make his son stop what he’s doing. She convinces Jeeder to wait for Milo with her in the classroom.

Milo shows up again. He cuts electricity to the school, and is caught in the hallway by Kelso — whom he promptly stabs. Jeeder says Kelso won’t make it to the hospital, so he drives Kelso and Claire to the Jeeder house instead. While Jeeder starts to tend to Kelso, Claire goes roaming around the house. Kelso comes to, and isn’t pleased to see Jeeder. When Kelso mentions Jeeder’s “creepy kid,” Jeeder tapes his mouth shut.

Claire flashes back to the fetus jars she saw as a child, and remembers one of the girls noting one empty jar, and wondering aloud, “What happened to that one?” Claire finds the fetus jars, including the empty one, and notes the date. Just then, Milo comes through a window and lunges for Claire — but Jeeder appears and gives Milo a hypo in the back, knocking him out cold.

Jeeder admits that this really is Milo. Jeeder’s wife, long dead, could only “deliver stillborns” (which explains where all the pickled fetuses came from), but Jeeder was able to save one of them (through some arcane process that isn’t explained): Milo (as if you didn’t figure that out during the first three minutes of the movie). When Claire tells Jeeder he created a monster, Jeeder agrees that there were a few unfortunate “side effects,” but it was the taunting of Milo’s classmates that created the monster.

Locked in the attic, Claire uncovers numerous clippings about Milo’s murder and his alleged drowning, as well as Ruth’s wedding announcement from the newspaper; Milo’s ugly face has been pasted over the face of Ruth’s groom in the picture.

Milo tries to bash his way into the attic, but Claire holds him off. After he leaves, she manages to get downstairs. Opening a closet, she finds the now-dead Dr. Jeeder. Milo, right on cue, appears and rushes her; when he misses her, he hits his head and is knocked out. But not for long; when he surprises Claire a second time, she faints.

Next thing you know, Claire is tied to a bed, dressed in a wedding gown, and Milo, as her troll-like groom, climbs on top of her and starts slurping on her face. Thank goodness Kelso appears out of nowhere and pulls the little ickazoid off her. Kelso frees Claire’s hands, then has to fight it out with Milo. He finally holds Milo down in a bathtub (that just happens to be conveniently filled with water), and presumably drowns him, once and for all. It’s Kelso’s last act; he finally dies from his wounds.

Claire shuffles downstairs, and— oh, dear, what’s that noise behind that closed door over there? Thinking it’s Marian, Claire descends into the basement. Yep, it’s Marian all right— er, well, not all right at all: Marian, also in a wedding dress (and maybe still alive; she twitches a bit), is bound to a gynecologist’s table, and she’s bleeding. Along comes Milo, with a large jar; in it is… uh, what’s he’s “extracted” from Marian. (Knowing what you already know, you can figure it out.)

Claire goes batspit crazy and beats on the ugly little monster until she subdues him. Then she finds the very dead Abby, also dressed as a bride, and propped up vertically.

Of course, Milo has vanished again, and now he reappears for one last showdown. As he drags Claire under the house, she grabs a random piece of wood and stakes him through the chest with it.

In the last scene, we see a new janitor cleaning graffiti off the walls of the school. Just before he starts to scrub away “Milo Was Here,” he hears the sound of a bicycle bell.